The Third Wheel in Marriage

Thank you for all the Marriage Monday. encouragement.  I am excited you came back.  I am grateful for the feedback you offered. We will get to the suggestions made so far as the weeks move along.   Please keep those suggestions, comments, questions and wedding pictures (or pictures of you now) coming; send to joan@joanborton.com or comment below.

Welcome also to you who are joining us for the first time today.  Marriage Monday is meant to be an interactive community sharing ways we can each build up and strengthen our marriage.  Jump right in and share your thoughts with us please.

I have wondered what is the best way to describe disability (spouse’s or child’s) affect on a marriage.  My two finalists are “An Unlikely Dance Partner” or “The Third Wheel in Marriage.”   More often than not I come back to “The Third Wheel.” (The first two wheels being the husband and wife).

Many people refer to disability as a part time job.  The hours add up quickly for self care, managing attendants, medical appointments, transportation and access issues, behavioral challenges, not to mention insurance, etc. TABs (Temporarily Able Bodied people) rarely grasp the amount of time disability requires..  Sometimes it feels like a third partner in the marriage – the wheelchair, the crutches or walker, the balance challenges, the unpredictability of one’s body, etc.

I believe that when we acknowledge and factor this third wheel into our lives it is possible to achieve some balance, enjoy a smoother ride and even encounter rougher terrains without toppling.

It is when we discount the impact of disability in our marriage that life becomes off-kilter.  It may be that two wheels work together, but the third (and it an be any one of the three) wobbles and is not aligned with the other two.  It is hard to know which direction you are traveling if all the wheels are not operating in the same direction.

Poster

Over the next weeks I want to unpack four aspects of marriage that form the basis of my talks and writings about marriage.

  1. The foundation of marriage
  2. The impact of disability on marriage
  3. Blessings from embracing disability in marriage
  4. Practical tips to encourage your own, or friends’ marriage including disability

These will not  be exhaustive treaties on the subjects, but my gleanings and ponderings alongside stories from real life.

feedback.jpgBefore I leave you for this week would you take a moment and give me a little feedback? Again you can answer in the comment section below or email joan@joanborton.com

How long have you been married?  Is your marriage affected by disability?  What do you wish you knew about marriage in your early years, or what was the best marriage advice you received?

3 Comments

  1. 24 years best advice spend time with God everyday as a couple. This has helped us regain our balance and focus more times than one. do things together as a couple last night we enjoyed a Micheal W. Smith concert today the eclipse. so it doesn’t have to be big things. respect each others time and space

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