Marriage Dreams

Dreams of marriage . . . candlelight and romance . . . tackling projects together. . . kids that look like you, and act like him (or vice versa) . . . retirement days to travel and enjoy one another and the family. What was your dream for marriage?

Happy 284 +1Many of us don’t think about disability when we dream about marriage. But here we are, with wheelchairs, memory loss, seizures, spasms, paralysis or some other constant partner in our family because we either married into disability or one of you acquired it after marriage.

Often we talk about how disability results in the death of our dreams. I know that can be true. I also know that while we said “better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health” most of us don’t really understand what that might involve.

Let’s be honest. Are there any marriages – even those that do not involve disability – which do not deal with reality clashing with our dreams?

Early in our marriage we were taught that life would not be so hard if we did not expect it to be so easy. There is so much truth in that statement.

If you are in one of those periods today of feeling the loss related to disability, know that you are not alone. No marriage is easy. We all encounter loss.

Sometimes in marriage we see the disability as something to be grieved or overcome. There is nothing wrong with grieving or working to alleviate disability and it’s effects. But the final chapter has not been written. God is working good through our circumstances. How might disability be a tool God is using in your marriage?

share-2482016_1920We can all benefit from hearing from one another. Would you share how God is using disability in your marriage and relationships?

Stay tuned next week for some lessons I am learning in how God is using disability in our family.

PS – Kudos (or maybe since we are talking about marriage I should say hugs and kisses) to my  husband Jerry who helped me find the right words when I was working on this post today.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Marriage Dreams

  1. John Stancil

    Joan, Thanks for those words. I no longer have to deal with a disabled spouse and I am grateful for her now complete healing. In dealing with her years of severe rheumatoid arthritis, it was difficult, especially the last four years of her life. And for much of that time, I didn’t think about what I was giving up – I was fulfilling my marriage vows and caring for her our of love. in retrospect, it cost me much. But it never occurred to me to abandon her. After she passed away, a number of people praised me for being such a faithful spouse. That made me somewhat uncomfortable, as I didn’t think it was anything special. I was just doing what I had pledged to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. JemB

      John, thank you. I can understand that feeling. Even last Sunday someone told me that I should have an extra gold star in my crown for marrying a guy with a disability. While I appreciate that they see me, I too think I am just doing what I committed to do. It is sad that seeing a couple live out their vows is so unusual to some! Thank you for your years of commitment to your wife. Wish I could have met her. One day I will in glory!

      Like

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