The two weeks of waiting between Jerry’s biopsies and learning the results were difficult. We had plenty to keep us busy, including appointments almost every other day, to give everyone who requested, insight into my bodily systems in preparation for surgery 12/30.
The stress of waiting, made the celebration of the words, “No Cancer” all that much sweeter when Jerry’s doctor walked through the door Monday morning. We couldn’t help but thank God for this amazing, and honestly unexpected, answer to prayer.
I truly am grateful, and believe we’ll be stronger fighting just one cancer diagnosis than two. But still, the thought occasionally visits, “But why me?” Of course, I know the answer to that -we don’t know why and likely may never.
I’m the caregiver. I am the one who manages the day to day; and assists my husband with his personal care needs. How can I be the one who will be out of service for several weeks?
Perhaps because I hadn’t been anticipating any health challenge, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around a cancer diagnosis. I know it’s not the end of the world. I’ve talked to several women who have been through this and “it’s no big deal.” But this is my body and it feels like a big deal. Or maybe now that I know what we are dealing with I need a little time to own it.
I understand it’s very likely I’ll need no other treatment and my recovery from the surgery may be swifter than expected. But can I sit for a little bit with my sorrow and questions and be sad?
It’s not going to be forever . . . but I don’t know how long. I think it’s part of my healing process—and even in my grief I see God’s hand of blessing. We’ve had friends and family from FIVE different states offer to come for a few days to help us out. Jerry, ever the numbers guy said, “That’s one tenth of the country represented.”
Having a husband who puts me first, incredible friends and family, and a great medical team are blessings. And I don’t discount those as gifts from my Father’s hand during this time. But I think it’s still okay to grieve and cry. This too shall pass.
Thank God fpr answered prayers for Jerry. Praying for you as you go through your situation. You take the time you need to get through this. I know it will be hard to get the help you’ll need for Jerry. Praying all things will work out. I wish I was there to give you a Hug. Phil. 4-13I know sometime thats hard to handle.Take care. Love and Prayers
Thank you, Marilyn. I know my fellow wives of guys with disabilities get it. We are in awe of the number of people willing to help with Jerry’s care. Now the challenge is putting a schedule together to accomodate the variety of needs. But you are right – God is still good and gives me the strength to persevere. Thanks for praying and the virtual hug!
Thank you for writing this. I understand it is so normal to grieve. Rejoicing in Jerry’s no cancer diagnosis. Continuing to pray for you both. Love you, my sister.
Marggie, you are such a gift to me. Knowing you’ve walked a similar path is a comfort. I love you too!
I’m sorry but being told “it’s no big deal” is not a very nice thing to say. As you said this is your body and you have never been through it. You are human and have the right to be scared or concerned. It doesn’t mean you aren’t trusting the Lord but it’s ok to go through the different feelings. I’m so glad you don’t have to have chemo cause that stuff is just downright nasty
Holly, thank you. I apprecaite your comments, I know they come from a place of “been there, done that.” I honestly think the comments of “no big deal” were said by pepole who expereinced a similar thing and wanted to encourage me that I too could get through this. Some days I can see it that way, other days I can’t. It’s all part of the journey. Thanks for your care!
Ohhh, most definitely!!
Sad, happy, more sad … it’s a wild whirlwind of wondering “why me”, as you mentioned.
It is a huge challenge to swallow, especially all at once.
Your words are spot on; ohh, how I remember. ❤️
Thinking of you both with much love and continued prayers.
Ready to jump into action when you give the word. 😉
Dori, it’s such a comfort to hear from others who have been there and get it. Thank you. I think by the end of hte week I’ll be in touch about ways to jump in. Thanks!
“But can I sit for a little bit with my sorrow and questions and be sad?”
Yes. Absolutely, yes.
Need someone to be sad with? I can be that person. (Better’s than Job’s friends at least!)
LMK – right next door.
Tracie, God knew exactly who we’d need for neighbors when he put you on one side and Petie on the other. Can’t imagine any better!Thanks for your “at the ready” love and concern to sit with me in the journey. The days will come when I’ll knock or call. . . .I am sure!
But can I sit for a little bit with my sorrow and questions and be sad? YES yes and yes! Thank you for these words. They ministered to my soul and reminded me how important it is to lament as was done in the Psalms and to take time to grieve. Even in the middle of all Gods merciful and abundant provisions. Praying for time for processing and for healing!
Thank you, Cindy. Lament is something we talk about and encourage others to do. I sometimes forget it’s okay for me to do too. And not just okay, but necessary. Thanks for your encouragment. On another note, seeing your name reminded me of the communication we had last year about this time when Ernie was building you a nativity tree 🙂
Heard in ABF on Sunday: “A flashlight always shines brightest in a dark room. The inner peace that one has, always shines best in a storm.” Praying peace for you both as you shine bright…..
Thank you, my friend. Light seems to be a recurring theme God is giving me through this journey. Each medical test I try to remind myself that if there is something that needs to come to light and be dealt with, better now. That’s part of what light does. May God uise His light to do the same in my heart and mind!
A good word. Many blessings.
Thanks, David.
Praying for our dear sister and brother in the Lord!
Thank you, Maureen and Steve.