Someday I will tally the actual amount of time that Jerry and I have lived alone since we were married, but for now I estimate it is about three years out of 23. We have had family, friends, and people in need live with us. Those experiences taught us a lot about ourselves, how we view our possessions and what is important to us.
The last eighteen months, we feel like we’ve had a different kind of companion sharing our home and lives. Change. We changed ministries with which we serve. That change affected some of our relationships. Our budget was modified as was the way we spend our time. And now we are on the cusp of the biggest transition, moving to a new home in a new state.
Reflecting over these months, I think the biggest thing I have learned is to appreciate the way we each perceive life. Whether the proverbial glass is half full or half empty.
In our marriage, one of us sees the glass as at least half full, in fact often it is near overflowing with positive expectations. The other one of us, on a good day, sees the glass as nearly empty. More often saying, “There’s a glass? How come no one told me there is a glass?!”
Sometimes we try to temper the other’s view or pull them across the midline to our own perspective. Sometimes we wonder how on earth the other could possibly survive living life through that lens. From where I sit today though I am thankful for these differences.
One of us would have had us moving sooner, but without a solid plan in place. At times “half empty” would throw out a time frame that made “half full” wonder if the other really wanted this move.
Each time our glasses came into conflict we learned to take the opportunity to sit down, listen to what the other was saying and more clearly articulate our own perspective. The result – our communication has improved, we find ourselves operating off the same page more often and enjoying the journey of figuring it out together.
Besides, as someone recently shared with us the best news is that each glass is refillable!
So how about you? How full or empty is your glass? Do you and your spouse share the same perspective?