I like to ask couples what was it about the other that initially drew them to one another. For me, the first thing I noticed about Jerry was his wardrobe – all polyester, seriously!
Our first date weekend in 1995; who are those two young ‘uns?
Now to his credit he was a single guy living alone and caring for his own needs. He is quick to point out that polyester slid easier when transferring. Ok, one point for him, he is a problem solver. The next thing I noticed was his sense of humor. Most people who meet him identify that early on; of course they wouldn’t notice the polyester any more because I helped update his wardrobe.
As I got to know Jerry more (we were friends for 6 years before there were any stars or bells) what became most evident was his passion for his convictions. What he believes, he believes with all his being and he will advocate and fight for it until it is accomplished or God shows him otherwise. What girl wouldn’t want a guy who can enjoy life and share in the humor of it, and also have her back like no one else ever could or would?
Inevitably the months and years wear down the glow of those early impressions. Now our hearts, rather than executing a gymnastic routine, may find those same qualities annoying or irritating. I can practically tell you word for word what Jerry will say in a specific situation, the humorous story he’ll tell, or the line that will just bring the house down. When I do that or wish he’d come up with new material I forget to laugh. Aside from praying together, there are few things I love to do more with Jerry than laugh together. Hearkening back to how his humor attracted me hits a reset button of sorts in our relationship, or more specifically in my heart and mind.
The dailyness of life, and the relentlessness of disability may change the person we committed to love. We or they may not be able to identify the earlier days anymore. I believe this is when it is particularly helpful to remember that amazing guy who swept you off your feet, or the woman who is still the most beautiful bride you have ever seen. The person we knew we could not live without is still there, even if the affects of disability or illness make us dig a little deeper to uncover.
So what about you? What is the one thing, or a couple of things that first drew your attention to the one who is now your husband or wife? Please share. We all can use the encouragement. Most of all though, remember to share it with your love!